Motivate

Feeling the peer pressure this month, setting myself limits and targets for my thesis is easy but sticking to them is a whole other thing completely. It is good to be truey self motivated, however, and it really makes you feel like you have accomplished something that day. Having the ability to self motivate is so vital and I'm so happy that I have grown in self confidence over the years of being an art student.
Had a conversation the other day about careers (again) with a friend who has recently graduated and works as an egineer for a large oil company in Aberdeen (of course). I spoke about how I was afraid of having a "real job" like that, to which he replied "yeah but that wil never happen with you, you'll never really be in that situation where you have a 'real job' anyway."

All I do is take pretty pictures isn't it, easy peasy.

The start of something exciting and wonderful

Catriona Grant- Examination Room

"It's a British thing"

I was in a meeting a week or so ago when we were being told how to complain (yes I know) and offer constructive criticism to our peers and to our tutors, institution, headmasters etc etc. The girl advising us said
"It's best to say something nice first and then deliver the complaint because people can get upset if you just say something bad."
It is safe to say that not many people agreed with this and the girl then lost respect from most of the room.
When somebody asked "why can't you just deliver the complaint, if there is something wrong, somebody should fix it"
Her answer was not only ill informed but a wee bit racist
"I think it's a British thing"

Well there we go.

Now, I'm a firm believer in "it's nice to be nice" but at the same time... you can't just dance around the problem so people don't get upset, being sad and upset sometimes is part of being alive, we have to experience the bad to appreciate the good whole heartedly. This is something which being in art school has really taught me, being constantly reviewed with honestly from my peers has toughened me up and I'm glad that I've been upset and got some bad reviews because otherwise I'd think I was sailing through very easily and wouldn't push myself any further. In fact, I'd maybe say that my peers have been too soft on me, I've made some pretty shambolic pieces of art in my time, so if your reading this, don't be put off if I cry, I'm grateful inside...really... eventually.

So essentially... that girl was wrong. You can't just hug somebody before you tell them that you hate them, it's just stupid, not "British".

                                   
                               "You look very pretty today Daisy... but I'm breaking up with you"

Let's get a moo-ve on

Nice to be back at University again and back on the ole blog, now excuses for not keeping this up to date but never mind, I'm back now.

So much to think about, its all very exciting and scary because I'll have to figure out what I fancy doing for the rest of my life soon, no pressure.

"oooh so whats your favourite photograph?"

Dear Blog,

I haven't died.

I'm doing really well.

"What do you do at uni Alison?"
"Photographic and Electronic Media"
"Oooh, that sounds fancy, whats that then?"
"Photography with other things"


..."she's actually a smart cookie you should have seen her playing trivial persuit the other night!"

So... what you doing tomorrow?

Haven't said much in a while because I've been so busy DOING things, so thats very nice!
Spent some time with people who I haven't seen for a while and it was so lovely to not talk about final hand ins and progress with uni... oh wait, I lied! I've got to the stage in my University life where peple are asking me what I'm going to do with my life and thats a bit frightening and also annoying. Although I am a firm believer in plans annd guides and being prepared... I'm not ready to declare my future to anybody yet because I have no idea myself. Why is there this constant need for a future plan anyway? Do people find it  comforting to know the future a little bit so they dont get a fright when it bites them on the bum? Everybody always wants to know what your doing tomorrow or what your doing next year or what your plans are for future... somebody asked me when I thought I'd get married the other day?!! Is it an age thing or just a life thing I wonder? Do people ask those who aren't students what their plans are for life? It could get a bit embarassing if they said "oh just this, I'm going to work in Morrissons for the rest of my life" and so it occured to me, the question "what are your future plans?" is a bloody personal one and people need to stop asking it so often because quite frankly I'm nervous!
Here's a nice picture of two brothers who are enjoying being carefree and not having to answer such hard questions yet...lucky bastards.

The Importance of relationships

Learn to grow and grow to learn

Recently I've been thinking about learning and its value with relation to growth as a person. I've been speaking to mothers about their children and about their pregancies and it has been fascinating research. I've been trying to gain access to a marnity unit but with no avail, the NHS is a tough thing to work with I tell you! So instead I want to learn from people I know... or kind of know, which may prove to be more valuable anyway. However there is something quite scary about asking the women in my life about their pregnancies and their thoughts on child development, it  all seems a bit private and delicate, I have no idea what sort of images will come from this but I'm looking forward to it anyway. Thinking of using medium format film and its very nice and delicate, something which would suit my research anyway but i dont want to think too much about the end product while I bask in the joy of my research!
Just keeping you all updaed on where I am.
I wrote 2500 words today for my essay, but those words are all my own and they make no sense but I'm glad I got everything out. It's a bit sad that now Ive got to make it more academic when thats exactly the sort of thing I'm against, and I discuss it in great detail in the text. Nevermind, slave to the man and all that nonsense, if I was more brave I'd sumbit it the way it is, in a totally raw and unpolished way because I think it speaks more about my genuine interest in the subject of learning and growth.

But I'm not going to do that.

Grey thinking

Been thinking about writing my question for my essay and I'm fairly sure about what I'd like to talk about. That great big topic of creativity, why the hell not?!! I've been recently researching about beauty, education, childbirth, bonding and there are about a million books I still want to read, especially ones about creativity in children and how we develop creativity. Its amazing!

it got me to thinking about learning and creativity as we grow older and how our lifestyles really do affect our minds. If we do not nurture and appreciate our creative minds... will they slowly wither away and die? Before you know it... everything would be so black and white and none of the grey in between.

My essay will be so grey. The greyest essay I've ever written. Not because I want an A... because I dont belive in grades anymore (ha). No but really, I'm looking forward to wiritng this thing which is a pretty good thing considering I cannae hack essays man.

If anybody has any suggestions on books wich would be useful, please dont hesitate to suggest! Currently dreaming about birth and babies so would be nice to have a change!!

Im not a bad student because I don't like stuff.

Sorry blogglettes, its been a wee while!
Here's whats actually been in my head:
Deadlines, David Shrigley, jokes, recipes, learning, teaching, flats, family, relationships, flowers, language, wine, money, gambling, fractions, holidays, sunshine, rain, scared about uni, beauty, future, understanding research, cleaning, dancing, music, art, upcoming exhibition, 4th year, essays and other things.

Sometimes it's nice just to write things down. One of the best pieces of advice I have ever been given was from a tutor when I was in second year, who said that I shouldnt care what I write in my sketchbook, don't think of it as something which will be assessed, instead use it as a diary. And ever since then I've been writing in my sketchbook with great ease and it helps so much just to get all your ideas onto a page and thats them there and you dont forget them.

Now, im about to get all opionated here (shock horror). Here goes...

I don't really care that much about reasearching loads of artists. Now, hear me out before you shun me completely. I know that researching artists is vital to our practice and I do research them because its nice to look at other people's work. I just think, however, that knowing loads of things about different artists isn't going to necessarily make you know loads of things about yourself and your practice. Research for me isnt about printing images and information about artists, its about finding something which I am genuinely interested in and enjoying learning about. I could easily fill a ringbinder with notes about Cindy Sherman, Barbra Kruger and blah blah blah but I genuinly dont want to. Not because I dont like them or dont understand things about their work... I just dont feel the need to act as though they are the soul reason I am motivated. I hear people talk about artists with such enthusiasm, maybe I'm jealous, I dont know, but I've never really felt that way about an artist. I get more enthused about going out and seeing things for myself, knowing that my ideas are developing and I am enjoying what I'm doing. I will never sit in a library and learn about all of the influential photographers of all time because I don't agree that because people have made some nice art that they will be my motivation. I motivate myself just now, maybe because I haven't found an artist who has blown me away yet... or maybe because it just who I am.
Some may feel that not being enthusiastic about artists is a bad thing but thats not to say that I'm a bad student and I wont do well... or maybe it does, I wont know that until I finish University, but I'm tired of proving to people that I am motivated. I think about things, I make decisions, I make work. I'm no less an art student than anybody else just because I dont spend my free time in galleries.

Bute is Beautiful

Having such a lovely time on the island, lovely weather and lovely things. Miss the countryside very much!!

Beautiful bits and bobs

Beauty is a very confusing thing as nobody will ever have the same opinion, I hope to take beautiful photos and make beautiful art and give people beautiful thoughts. Here are some examples of my work about beauty:

Top piece is from an old project but I still feel its important to my current research, I've always aspired for beauty in my work even if I didnt mean to!

Self soothing

What I've found throughout all of my years of studying is that we have a constant need to prove that wee have tried hard. We prove that we have thought about the mathematics calculation by writing down our workings, even if we can do it mentally. We prove that we've done the research for a project because we photocopied the book we read. Why do we need to prove that we're working? Surely it will be evident in the quality of our work? We don't need a bulging sketchbook and bags of newspaper clippings to prove ourselves to anyone. (Sounding a bit defensive I know!)

I noticed this recently in my primary one class which I volunteer to help with. I was helping a young girl to read (it was so amazing I can't even deescribe it) and after every sentence she'd look to me so that I could say "yep, that's right well  done". Now, I'd never deny a 5 year old girl the satisfaction of knowing she can read because I was so enthusastic I couldn't help but shower her with praise. What I'm interested in is knowing if we will ever stop being praised and what will happen then? Will we stop trying or will we just adapt to a new way of thinking for ourselves?
I've recently been thinking a lot about this and have had many conversations about the topic and struggles of research with different people. It's interesting to find that many of us still feel tht we have to prove our enthusiasm to our peers, collegues, elders just so we can get that feeling of accomplishment when somebody says "bloody hell, you've done a lot of work there!" Obviously I still want that, we all love a bit of praise now and then but maybe being confident in your own knowledge and learning would be just as nice? I'd like to get on that path towards inner confidence in my practice. We must realise that we're not always going to have somebody looking over your shoulder as your write in your sketchbook to say "good work". However this is not to say that we will be constantly alone with our thoughts with no insight from others. Just as a baby learns to sleep on it's own, maybe sometimes we have to self soothe.

Swings and Roundabouts

These are sad swings.

I must not be afaid to fail

Making art is hard sometimes because we contantly think about what people are going  to say about it, yes we can make selfish art, we can also be so inspired by our work that we dont care about other people... but sometimes it is nice to know that people like your ideas and think you've made a very nice photograph, drawing, painting or sculpture.

It is also important, however, to just do what feels right and not be afraid to jump right into something with your whole self. Thats how we keep inspired surely? Maybe if I stop thinking about projects I'm given as a constant evaluation of myself and instead think of them as a way to improve, I'll be a hell of a lot more focussed and happy with my work.

This photo makes me feel happy... just 'cos.

Blogaroony

Hi bloggies,

I just realised I dont have any photos of my work so here is a photo of the photographs I displayed in the exhibition we had in  January, make up your own mind about what it means!!

Where I am just now.

I have been getting increasingly interested in portraiture which asks questions about public perception. Something which I think is really relevent to my research for my new piece is the charity Changing Faces, which supports those with facial disfigurements and helps them with confidence issues which they face because of the pressure the public puts on people to be "beautiful" what is beautiful anyway?! Really want to get involves with this organisation further, take a look: http://www.changingfaces.org.uk/ , pretty inspiring stuff I think! Contacted them to get a bit more info to deepen my understanding of how different people cope with the social pressures of being different.

On the other hand, something quite different...

Been having a wee look at ORLAN, who was made famous for her use of plastic surgery as a means of artistic medium. Thats some pretty frightening stuff!!! Taking parts from female portraits or sculptures, created my male artists and making her face look like them. For me, this is way too extreme and although it obviously makes a seriously bold statement, its unnecessary and down right stupid. I admire her vision and passion though, you got to have drive to change your face permenantly in the name of Art.

Also, in other news, bought a new camera Nikon D3100, yay!!!

whats Arty then?

So this is pretty strange, just began this blog as an outlet for the rants that go on inside my litle art school brain. So here it is... blog number one:

Today, first day back we were asked about "What makes a great artist?" to which there were many were thought out, considerate answers, typical arty farty question really, not really a question so much as a topic for an argument. I tend to get frustrated by these questions and I don't know why in art school we are asked them so often, yes, it is important to know what you feel is important in your practice and blah de blah but I just find it all a bit too... arty, and please dont ask me to define "arty"! I think that being surrounded by people so keen on art is a bit scary and sometimes they feel the need to question absolutelyeverysinglelittlething! Sometime art is good because it just is.
Similarly, I'm asked questions like "What is Art?" by people or "What makes art good?" or "Write an essay about the process of writing an essay"  what??!!!! Jeezo, it's all a bit too hippy for me. The sort of answers im likely to give are sarcastic ones and the sort of essays I'm likely to write don't make me sound as though I've swallowed a dictionary but that's just where I am just now, pretty stubborn.


First blog.. pretty vague.